siwsen

So a little sum up, shall we?

A totally flop, I am.

At this point I am trying to get more or less some creativity back. To think it’s funny to draw, to be able to enjoy and relax while doing it. Nevertheless, it’s so damn hard.

For that, I am a flop.

I sold my drawing equipment the cintiq 21ux – I was so tired of that big screen just getting dusty as time went by, it just kept reminding me of what I didn’t do anymore – and I needed the money.
In January, I started to study again. I don’t know what I want to be, but you have to start somewhere, and that is what I am trying to do.

In February, I lost my horse, Frederic. I still feel a loss today, although a lot have happened since and time has passed.

In May I felt a little hope, some glimmer of light in the darkness my loss left me. I got a new horse, a mare. I have called her Goldhearted Fabiola. A raw young horse with some potential. She looks a lot like Spirit (from the movie; Spirit: the stallion from Cimarron) – just a tad more friendlier She is also half mustang, so there you go.  

As time has gone by, I felt more or less myself slipping through my fingers like sand. It hasn’t been easy.

It’s never easy.

But here I am. Still fighting this year.

In September, I got in an accident while riding. I got a concussion, two weeks off from school, and I still battle with some of what remains from the accident – nothing life altering or anything, but still, it’s there.

Not so long ago, I brought what I hoped would be the start of a beginning with me being more creative again. I brought a Cintiq 13HD touch. Have I been more creative since? No, not more, but I have at least, almost, finished a new drawing, and that is something.

But I still feel conflicted. In some ways I love the fact that I brought it, but in some other ways, I sure could use the money it costed. More than ever.

Not a very happy text, huh?
But this is what have happened, and I am not going to sugar-coat my life. Neither am I going to make it a soap opera, a dramatic event or any of such things. Good and bad, this is it.

Here I am.

Hey Guys,

long time no seen, no I haven't been on for ages, really, and that is probably the only thing I write in these journals - other then not drawing anything, which you already know, but I have been creative now we are on this topic, but this is NOT what this journal is about.

I need all the help I can get, and that is to donate money to THIS cause: gogetfunding.com/project/for-f…

Please just go and click on the link and read it, and if you can, donate, if not, if you could make awareness that would be great. The only thing is that I have too be careful that the wrong people doesn't see this, really! Thats the reason it's not on facebook, so please don't put it on facebook! You can send it in a private message if you want to, but just not out in the open on facebook!

Thank you very much for your time, and I hope that you can help!!!!!

So I should probably not write at the moment, since my mind is completly clouded (about to be sick, and I'm dead tired).

Anyway, I would just like to say that the reason for my inactive is because my dog ate my new grip pen to my cintiq after he ate the old one... I have bought a new one, I am just waiting for it now. When I will have it, I don't know, hopefully soon.

But that was all see ya around.

Just very short :
I am Live-streaming right now. A drawing of the Marauders and Lily.  

Join!

www.livestream.com/Siwsen?t=43…